Being at your mercy
by Nica
Summary: Sometimes you try so hard to leave, but it just seems so impossible to go away....!
1. Default Chapter

~ Being at your mercy ~  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.  
  
Summary: Sometimes you try so hard to leave, but it just seems so impossible to fulfil.  
  
A/N: Feel free to let me know what ya think about it. Reviews usually make my day! ;) Even if it's a "read the story" I would be glad. So I'd know, if someone's reading this.  
  
A/N2: Heya! Thank you so much for your reviews! Just fixed up the grammar (hope so.) and this anonymous review thing. Thanks for telling me.  
  
Uhm, I don't know if I'm writing more in the next time. At the moment I'm at a loss for ideas.so they would be highly welcomed.;)  
  
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"What's my life worth, when I'm not allowed to love the person I care about most? Huh? Do you know that?" Silence. "This said person thinks I'm a screw up, she hates me, wants me out of her life! Do you understand? I'm wasting my time here in Seattle, nobody needs me here. I have to leave. I try to leave."  
  
It's sad and it's already too silly.  
  
We're just not getting along with each other.  
  
Why? Why should we endure all this,  
  
when we are too blind to see  
  
our similar history?  
  
He whispered the last sentence. Emotions washed over his handsome face and it made him look so vulnerable and so...so forlorn and alone. In the last minutes he was throwing his belongings into a bag and was desperately talking with his punching ball, which would always listen to his words - and there were many. But his loyal listener will hear them for the last time today.  
  
Alec was now ready to leave. But he decided to deliver first packages for JamPony for a last day. Okay, probably not the best idea to avoid her. But today's Friday so his leave won't seem so out of the blue and won't look so suspicious to the others.  
  
"Bye" his last words softly spoken into an empty apartment, which was his home for a while. Then he was making lost in his thoughts his way to work.  
  
But every time I intend to leave,  
  
I realise how much I need you,  
  
how much I care about you.  
  
Later that day at JamPony Alec was coming back from his last run. He never met her, probably they were both avoiding each other, not that he would have minded, not today. So he was now walking to his locker to get his bag and then he would leave. Forever.  
  
He was just about to close his locker, when she entered JamPony with Original Cindy. Both talking about their plans for tonight.  
  
"Shit!" He muttered. Why couldn't they be five minutes longer out on a run? His damn poor luck!  
  
He knew that he had to look away, when he really wanted to go out of town. But somehow it was impossible. Like she was hypnotising him with her eyes, with her laughter, with her whole body.  
  
He was able to see the sparkles in her eyes as she was laughing about something OC had said and he wished, that she would let him laugh with her.  
  
I'm at your mercy, every night.  
  
You captured me and you're not letting me go.  
  
I'm at your mercy, every night.  
  
My home is where yours is!  
  
Her long dark hair was falling over her shoulders and he wished, that he would be allowed to shove them away.  
  
I never wanted to be at someone's mercy, just be free!  
  
But when there's someone,  
  
who let you feel so alive,  
  
who makes you care,  
  
you would do anything for this person!  
  
No matter what.  
  
Then I realise how much I like it sometimes  
  
being at your mercy.  
  
He saw her flushed cheeks and the red full lips of hers. What would it be like to touch them, to kiss them?  
  
"That's never gonna happen." he thought bitterly.  
  
But he had the strange feeling, that she did care about him - a tiny bit. But his mind kept telling him, that this wasn't true, would never be! He couldn't hope, could he?  
  
And when I wouldn't come back, wouldn't be here,  
  
you would never admit,  
  
that you're missing me,  
  
that you're wishing to hold me tight.  
  
But the fire of passion in your eyes would be lost.  
  
You would be lost.  
  
And then, as if she could sense his intense gaze on her, she turned her head and her brown eyes met his green ones. At this moment time was stopping for both. Something was definitely happening, but what was it? Both were lost in each others eyes, lost in the moment. If they just would know, what.  
  
"Hey, my man! You're ok, 'cause ya look a bit.absent?" The spell between them instantly broken by the bare question Sketchy just asked his drinking companion and friend.  
  
"Yeah, I'm always alright." With that Alec's eyes were wandering once again to the point where Max was standing just seconds before, but now all he could see, was empty air.  
  
He remembered his earlier intentions and walked with a perfect soldier face out of JamPony, as if the little incident with Max never happened. Nobody was paying attention to him and his unusual huge bag.  
  
Seconds later he was driving through the dark streets out of Seattle, trying to clear his mind and to escape this town, to escape from himself.  
  
I'm at your mercy, every night.  
  
You captured me and you're not letting me go.  
  
I'm at your mercy, every night.  
  
My home is where yours is!  
  
But pictures of Max and uncontrollable feelings were haunting him. He could feel her skin on his flesh, driving him crazy.  
  
His mind knew exactly how she smelled, letting him forget who he was.  
  
He could see Max returning a smile and how wonderful she looked at doing so.  
  
Yeah, he wanted to make her smile and more. But be with her was painful and at the same time so.unbelievable great!  
  
With this sad feeling he was driving faster into the dark night leading to nowhere.  
  
But every time I intend to leave,  
  
I realise how much I need you,  
  
how much I care about you.  
  
Hours later Alec was changing his wet clothes. "Damn rain!" His voice rough and small. Definitely not Alec like.  
  
The many pearls of water were running down his face. Were these really raindrops or..tears? Could it really be? It would have explained his uneven voice, his red eyes..but why?  
  
Just then he threw a few things out of the bag, he just had packed this morning. They landed with a slight thud of a bed.  
  
"So? You're happy now? You, ugh just shut up!" Alec was now shouting at a punching ball, at the same he talked to in the morning. He was then collapsing on his bed, tired of today's actions but also tired of fighting any longer. Fast he's asleep but couldn't find any rest in the troubled sleep.  
  
Once again he had failed to leave town, failed to leave her.  
  
I'm at your mercy, every night.  
  
You captured me and you're not letting me go.  
  
I'm at your mercy, every night.  
  
My home is where yours is! 


	2. Note

A/N: Hey guys! Once again thanks so much for your reviews! :-) A few of you wanted me to continue...and tada....I will write a chapter more. But at the moment I have just too much to do in school (final examinations...) and at work ...so a new chappie won't be there until summer. And English is still my second language so I can't guarantee a story without any mistakes...please excuse this. ;-)  
  
A/N II: Always glad about ideas for the story! 


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